


Ghost

by witchvixx



Category: VIXX
Genre: Other, these are all side pairings btw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-27 16:35:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12586092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witchvixx/pseuds/witchvixx
Summary: Hongbin enjoys his life. It's a simple, quiet life. He has his friends, his job, and a new home. He doesn't think he could ask for anything else.That is, until the knocking starts.





	1. The Move In

“The previous owners kept up the place pretty well, so there isn’t any renovations you’ll have to do on the house. And it’s very close to your studio. I think it’s a perfect house for you.” The real estate agent rattled off for what felt like the millionth time. Hongbin was already sold on the house, really, he just didn’t want to seem too eager. And besides, he still had some questions about this place.

“It’s not too bad.” He says, looking around the kitchen again. It was nice, but small. The previous owners apparently left all the appliances in the kitchen and even some furniture in various rooms. He didn’t blame them, it would be hard to move them but it seemed strange to leave so much. “Why did the previous owners leave?”

“Well,” The agent starts, looking slightly uncomfortable for reasons he couldn’t understand. “I’m not allowed to say, but I think it might have because the husband got a new job.” Hongbin hummed in understanding.

“And they just left all of this stuff?” He asked.

“Yes. We found it quite strange as well. We just received news that they were leaving and when I came to the house, they were already gone.” The agent pursed her lips in thought. “It was like they left everything they couldn’t fit into a car.”

“Is it true though?” Hongbin asked, suddenly feeling brave to ask what had been on his mind since the beginning. The agent broke out her thoughts and looked at him in question. “Is it true that someone was murdered here?”

“Oh, heavens no!” She exclaimed. Her eyes had gotten big, the shock clear on her face. “I can assure you, there has never been a murder here, or anywhere on this block. This is safe neighborhood.”

“I’m sorry.” Hongbin bowed his head slightly in apology. “I didn’t mean any harm, I was just wondering. I had always just heard rumors.”

“Rumors are just rumors Mr. Lee. Some kids, I’m sure, made them up one day when they were bored, trying to scare new neighbors.” Hongbin nodded in agreement. He looked outside the window to see kids walking home from school, smiles bright on their faces, steps light as they teased and played games with each other. 

“There’s no yard. What if I have a dog?” Hongbin asked. 

“There’s a dog park nearby.” The agent answered smoothly. When Hongbin turned around, he acted like he was thinking hard about the dog park, even though he had no desire to raise one, which brought a small smile to the agents face. “You can’t have it all Hongbin.” 

Hongbin laughed at the statement, smiling at the agent. 

“I’ll take it.”

.

The moving in process had been tiring to say the least. While it was nice he had furniture already in the house, that didn’t take away from the fact that he still had all of his clothes to move in, his studio to setup, and everything else. It didn’t help that he had to do all of it alone, since his friends hadn’t been able to come due to work. He couldn’t blame them though. As soon as he was done at the house, he had to go to his studio and and do some last minute editing for a recent wedding he had shot for. 

He was thankful his new home was only half a mile away from where he worked. It would be nice, walking there every morning and in the evening time. This time of year would be even better, the cold fall wind and shorter days were perfect for Hongbin. The trees were just the perfect shades yellow and red and orange and made the most perfect pictures he could produce. 

A sudden ringing noise rings through the apartment as he is unpacking his last box for the kitchen. He didn’t have a lot of kitchen supplies, but he made do with what he did bring. Checking the ID quickly, he smiled as he accepted the call and brought the phone to his ear. “Hello?”

“Hongbin! I just got off work! Do you still need help?” Hakyeon’s rushed voice asks in a hurry. He sounds out of breath and knowing him, he probably ran out of the school as soon as the last bell rang. 

“No, I just started the last box. So you got out of helping me move.” Hongbin teases. Hakyeon lets out an indignant huff on the other end.

“Hey! I tried to get off today and you know it!” Hongbin laughs at his tone, and before he can reply, Hakyeon continues. “I know for a fact that Taekwoon and Jaehwan both got off work before me and I bet they haven’t even called you to congratulate you on your new home!”

It makes Hongbin laugh more than it should. Hakyeon was always funny in that way. He had always been Hongbin’s friend for as long as he could remember. Even when they went to college and roomed together all four years, Hongbin never grew tired of Hakyeon and he knew Hakyeon felt the same. In their junior year, he had grown scared that Hakyeon would forget him in favor of Taekwoon, his new boyfriend. He felt stupid, now, thinking back. Hakyeon would never forget about him. Out of everyone Hongbin knew, Hakyeon was truly his best friend. 

“You haven’t either technically.” Hongbin said, trying to keep from laughing the small ‘Ah.’ on other end.

“Fine. You got me there.” Hakyeon grumbles. Hongbin knows he’s pouting over the phone, even if he can’t see it. He must let it go quickly, because the next second, he’s back to his normal self. “How about I bring over something to eat? So we can properly celebrate! I’ll invite the others too!”

“It’s okay Hakyeon, maybe next time.” Hongbin says, putting up some plates he had gotten from his friends the last time he moved into a new apartment. “I have to go into work for a while.”

“You’re no fun.” Hakyeon whined and Hongbin wondered how Taekwoon put up with a 28 year old how could act like he was only 5 half the time. “Fine, if you're not going to let me come over and help, ask me about my day.”

Hongbin barked out a loud laugh at his friends antics, doing what he was told to do anyways. Hakyeon talked about his day, talked about what he was going to make for dinner, what he really wanted to eat instead but since Taekwoon was going to be late, he couldn’t make it. Hongbin talked his fair share too, sometimes throwing in his opinion about the latest gossip that Hakyeon had heard about their friends and then some. It was nice, to just talk about everything and nothing. It really was the break that he needed.

“Hongbin?” Hakyeon said, seriously, after they had just finished laughing about some stupid thing that Jaehwan had done at the office. It sobered up Hongbin pretty quickly as he made a sound of acknowledgement. “I’m… I’m really happy for you. I know I speak for everyone when I say that. We’re all, just, really proud of you.”

It confuses Hongbin for a minute. He’s used to Hakyeon always making sudden confessions but this is truly out of the blue. He doesn’t know what spurred it on or why but it shocks him still.

“Um, thanks?” Hongbin says which gets a laugh out of Hakyeon.

“I’m sorry, I just wanted to tell you that.” Hakyeon replies. “I’m just happy for you. You got a new house, you got a job, you just sound happy.” 

“Thanks Hakyeon. I am.” Hongbin smiles over the phone, even if the other can’t see it. He takes a glance at the clock and sees it’s far past the time he wanted to leave for work, but he isn’t bothered by it. Talking to Hakyeon has really been relaxing. “I’ve gotta go Hakyeon, it’s pretty late.”

“Okay, I’ll talk to you soon.” The older replies. “Call me if you need anything!”

“I will Hakyeon.” He agrees and says goodbye again as he hangs up the phone. 

The house is quiet now, much more quiet than his old apartment. He used to have to deal with loud neighbors above him all the time, now he only has to deal with a neighbors beside him, which is much better. The space above him is empty, the realtor told him on the first visit to the house. No one had lived up there in a few years, she told him, and it wasn’t in the best shape so it was unavailable for the time being from what she had been told. He was fine with that. If he didn’t have to deal with anyone above him, then he was fine with it. 

After nearly twelve hours of unpacking, he was finally done. He would have to go grocery shopping tomorrow, since he didn’t have any food in the cabinet. It seemed stupid to bring anything over from his old apartment but now he’s kinda regretting that choice. It’s not too late, so ordering in is his best option. 

Calling in a pizza from a small shop, he sits on his new couch, at least new to him, and takes in the house. 

It’s homey, but not overly so. It’s obvious that no one has lived here in awhile. The blue tinted walls give it such a clinical feel that Hongbin doesn’t particularly like but he will deal with it for now, as he doesn’t have time to paint it right now. Maybe, in a few weeks, he can convince Jaehwan or Sanghyuk to come paint it as repayment for not helping him move in. That would nice. The carpet looks pretty new and now that he thinks about it, the previous owners must have replaced it before they left. 

He had decorated a little bit and it seemed to be coming together nicely. He still needed some stuff on the walls to break up how bland and boring all of it looked, but that’s fine. Although decorating can be tedious, the photographer liked it. It gave him some control and it made him feel good to come home to a nice, clean home. Even if he was alone.

He was okay with it, most of the time. It usually never crossed his mind that he was still helplessly alone and had very little interest in dating right now. He had a job to focus on. He had a very long way to go if he ever wanted to be like some of the major photographers in the area. Right now, he mainly covered weddings and sometimes assisted with a magazine shoot here and there but nothing mindblowing. He knew he wouldn’t make it big right off the bat, but he still could have dreams. 

He reaches for his phone on the couch, only to find it missing. It must have slipped through the cracks of the couch. Putting his hand in the couch, he started to look for it as best as he could and finally found it. As he pulled his hand out from the couch, he felt a sudden cold chill run up his back, causing him to shiver violently. As soon as it happened, it was gone, The room had been relatively warm all day and the air conditioner had been turned off during the winter season. It was probably a draft.

The loud knocking startled him from his thoughts, effectively pulling him away from scaring himself. He always thought too much about small stuff like that. He had been convinced once that his dorm room had been haunted because he always heard something tapping on the window in the middle of night. It had spooked him so much that he almost stopped sleeping in the dorm room altogether and staying strictly with Gongchan until the year ended.

It wasn’t until Hakyeon showed him it was just a cat pawing at the window that he moved back into the dorm room.

He walked to the front door, where the delivery man was waiting for him, holding the pizza. Hongbin quickly paid him, giving him a larger than usual tip. He was feeling good tonight. Taking the pizza to the kitchen, he quickly got out a plate and set it down on the counter. He turned around to go to the sink when a loud crash and a sharp pain in his foot caused him to stop.

Looking towards his foot, he finds the plate he just set down, apparently not well, shattered into a million pieces, some of which are stuck in his foot. Sighing, he reaches down to pick up the bigger pieces of the mess he made and take them to the trash. Grabbing a broom and dustpan, he sweeps up the small shards. His foot his screaming at him to take care of it, bleeding on the floor, making a bigger mess. Throwing away the shards, he made his way to the bathroom.

He hadn’t had much time to do much to the bathroom besides put some towels by the tub and put his toothbrush by the sink. He would have to do more later, when he wasn’t so busy. Reaching under the sink, he finds the first aid kit he put down there only a few hours ago. He’s glad he brought it with him, even if hadn’t used it in three years.

With tweezers, he pulls out the shards, flinching when one doesn’t come out with the first tug. It hurts, and blood spills onto the tiles. Even though it is his blood, Hongbin can’t help but feel squeamish. 

Once he removes all of them, he bandages up his foot and takes a pain reliever to ease the screaming pain he feels in his entire foot. 

“First day here and I’m already injured.” He says to himself. Walking back into the kitchen, he notes the pizza has started to go cold, and he isn’t all the hungry anymore. He only grabs one slice and puts the rest into the fridge. 

The couch feels nice and it allows him to take pressure off of his foot. It feels better than it did, the ointment he put on it must be working. When he finishes the slice off, he feels the exhaustion of the day start to catch up to him. Reluctantly, he leaves the comfort of the couch and heads to the bedroom to get some sleep for the night. He has to go into work tomorrow morning, very early in the morning. He needed as much sleep as he could get tonight.

.

There’s something crawling on his skin, something he can’t shake off. It runs up his back, then down his spine, continuously, nonstop. It’s featherlight but he feels every move that it makes and he tries to scream but only silence escapes his mouth.

He can’t see anymore, a cloth tied too tightly around his eyes, and his hands are bound. No matter how much he pulls, he can’t get them to budge, nothing can stop the thing moving on his back, nothing can help him.

Just when he thinks that this the worst thing that can happen to him, that nothing else can beat this, that if can endure this, he’ll be fine, suddenly, the touch is gone. Partially, he’s happy. But on the flip side, he’s scared because what does that mean now. Suddenly, something is pulling him up and forward. As he continues to walk, he hears the tale tell signs of waves, the rhythmic push and pull of the ocean calling him closer as he fights to get away. 

The smell of salt burns his nostrils, and brings tears to his eyes as the unknown hand pushes him forward into the unknown.

Water begins to fill his lungs, the bounds not helping him stay afloat. He can feel every drop in his airways. He has no chance of surviving this, no chance of living, no opportunity to even live-

A scream wakes him up, out of the nightmare. Hongbin looks around the room frantically, trying to make sure no ocean was there. He belatedly realizes the scream was his own. He died in the dream but he wasn’t dead. It wasn’t real.

He reaches for his phone, groaning when he sees the time. 3:02 a.m. He doesn’t have to be up to another three hours but there is no way that he getting anymore sleep. He only got three hours of sleep, considering how long it took him to shower and to get settled down for the night. It was going to be a long day at the office. 

Laying back down, he stares at the ceiling for a while. The dream felt so real. It had been so long since the last time he had one. And he hadn’t had one where he drowned in forever. He thought he got over that fear years ago, but it still scares the life out of him.

He thinks about calling Hakyeon to talk to him, to calm himself down, but it’s so childish. He hasn’t done that in years and Hakyeon is undoubtedly tired from work. He wouldn’t want to take away from precious sleep that Hakyeon could be enjoying just because of some nightmare. He refused to do that. He would just call him in the morning. As soon as he woke up. Maybe even a little bit before.

His thoughts went swimming, a muddled mess of everything in the dream. Why did it have feel so real? Why did it have to happen now, when he was just getting settled into this house? Maybe it was a bad sign, maybe he should have just stayed where he was. It was a nice apartment before, maybe he should have dealt with the noisy neighbors and the insufferable landlord and the nitpicky grandmas that always had something to say about him on his way to work.

What am I thinking, this is better than that, he thought to himself. He needed to be grateful that he was able to move here, even if it has been pretty awful for the first time sleeping here. The pain in his foot is back and he closes his eyes, trying to go back to sleep, even though he knows the effort will be fruitless.

.

The alarm on his phone goes off, and he flinches at the loud sound of it. 

He hadn’t been able to fall back asleep, like he predicted, but it was worth a shot. Looking at himself in the bathroom mirror, he looked like death. His eyebags were dark and he blinked slowly. He splashed some water on his face to wake up but it only made him cold and tired now. 

As he went on with morning routine, wash, eat, brush his teeth, do his hair, get dressed and leave, he thought about everything he had to do at the studio. The editing would take some time but it was Saturday and he technically didn’t have to be there but he missed yesterday so he wanted to get caught up before Monday. He would only spend a few hours there and then maybe go say hi to Hakyeon and Taekwoon.

He finished getting dressed pretty quickly, putting on an old sweater and jeans before heading towards the front door to put on his shoes. He grabbed his keys and bag before heading out the door. 

The walk to the studio was just as nice as he thought it would be. On an early saturday morning with the sun barely peeking over the horizon, pink and oranges and yellows bleeding into the sky, he felt at peace, the dream from last night finally shaking away from his mind. Even the front of the studio felt brand new and peaceful.

It was quiet in the studio, like he thought it would be. No one usually worked on the weekends, which made it perfect to work during. He didn’t mind the other few people that worked there but sometimes they got loud and didn’t clean up and it annoyed him to no end. He was always the one to pick everything up. 

While he set his stuff on his desk, he turned on the computer, the start screen lighting up in an instant. He didn’t bother with his desk light, the sun would be shining through the glass window within the hour anyways, and that would be fine.

Once it loaded up, he got to work, the editing process taking up most of his time at the studio. It was picture after picture after picture of happy couples saying “I do.” at the most beautiful moment of their lives.

Hongbin would never admit it outloud but he was jealous of it at times. 

He wanted someone to love, and, sometimes, he desperately wanted it. He had tried dating around before, going to clubs with some friends, even blind dating, but none of it would ever work. People would always tell him he would no problem dating, not with a face like his, but that seemed to be the problem. Everyone wanted him for his looks, no one wanted to deal with the real Hongbin. 

No one wanted to deal with his off the wall sense of humor, or his strange, but not strange to him, fascination with documenting everything. They loved how pretty he was, but they never thought he was pretty when he cried. He doesn’t think anyone could ever love him. He doesn’t think anyone ever will.

Time flies like this, his body on autopilot with editing, but his brain everywhere else. When he glances at the clock, he sees it’s past lunch time and nearly 2 o’clock. He’s surprise, not realizing how much he’s done today. Saving his work and closing the program, he grabs his stuff and heads out the door and to a local coffee shop. 

He knows how much Taekwoon enjoys coffee and Hakyeon doesn’t like it all that much, but he does like the hot chocolate here, so he’ll get him that. While he is in line, he sends them a quick text that he’s coming over and Hakyeon sends a few heart emojis and a smiling face. Hongbin can’t help but smile back. 

He orders the drinks for them and one for himself, a tea, all to go and sits to wait for the drinks. He sees a couple in the corner of the store, whispering about something that only they know. Hongbin’s stomach twists and his mind only thinks ugly thoughts and he can’t help but feel bad.

His name is called and he grabs them before he can get too far into his head again.

.

“Hongbin!” Hakyeon exclaims as he opens the door. “Come in! Have you eaten? Taekwoon cooked for lunch if you haven’t. Oh, you brought coffee!” Hongbin is pulled into the apartment before he can stop the other. He nearly drops the coffee that he brought on to the ground when Hakyeon pulls him into a bone crushing hug. Luckily, Taekwoon takes mercy on him and takes the coffee before he can drop it on the hardwood floors. 

Before Hongbin can even answer, Hakyeon is barreling on with a million different questions about everything from Hongbin’s eating habits to if he’s tried that new recipe he sent him a week ago. He tries to keep up with him as he is pushed towards the table where Taekwoon has lunch set up for them. 

“Taekwoon, you didn’t have to cook all of this just because I was coming over.” Hongbin says, feeling a little guilty as he sees just how much food there is. He is sure that Hakyeon had bugged Taekwoon to cook this much just because he said he would be over. They always do this, much to Hongbin’s distaste. He doesn’t like to be a burden to his friends.

Taekwoon only shakes his head and gives Hongbin a small smile. “It’s nothing. Just eat.” He says as he picks up his chopsticks and begins to dig into the food in front of him. Hongbin can’t help the small smile that creeps on to his face in response. Taekwoon may be dating Hakyeon, but his true love will always be food.

Lunch is somewhat quiet as they eat, talking in between bites of food about mundane things. They talk about the cat that Taekwoon found on the street and how heartbroken he was when they found the owner, about the student in Hakyeon’s class how never stops talking and Hongbin can’t help commenting on how it must be karma for how much he used to talk in class. He thinks that the hit he gets for it is worth it. 

“So, Hongbin.” Hakyeon says half way through the lunch, feigning nonchalance, and Hongbin can already feel the question coming. It’s always the same. “Have you been taking your meds?”

Hongbin looks down towards his food now, and shrugs. “When I remember.” He says, and it’s kinda the truth. He does take them, but only when he thinks about it. It’s not that big of deal to him. He continues on before either of them can say anything. “I don’t need them anymore anyways. I’m better now, you guys know that.”

“You got better better because you took them.” Taekwoon interrupts, voice serious. 

“I got better because I am better.” Hongbin counters, feeling slightly offend at the way Taekwoon is talking to him. He’s right, those medicines did help him, but he was the one who put in the time and effort to get better. He doesn’t need them anymore to help him get out bed or go to work. They did their job and now he doesn’t need them anymore. It’s the natural order of things. 

“Hongbin, we’re just worried about you-” Hakyeon starts but is quickly interrupted by the younger.

“You don’t need to be worried about me, I’m fine.” He says curtly, and like that, the conversation is over. The other two seem to understand that he doesn’t want to divulge anymore on the topic and they seem to respect that. At least for now. Hongbin knows that it won’t last for long. 

Hakyeon sighs from his side of the table, taking a small sip of water before addressing the other again. “Jaehwan and Sanghyuk are looking at new apartments.” He says, and Hongbin is grateful at the way Hakyeon always seems to know how to make him feel comfortable again when he felt like running out of the room only a few seconds ago. He’s Hongbin’s best friend for a reason.

“How come?” He asks, interested. The two hadn’t mentioned it to him, so he figures that it must be pretty new gossip.

“Sanghyuk said it was because they need something closer to work and school.” Taekwoon replies as Hakyeon takes another bite of noodles. “But Jaehwan said it was because they wanted a dog.”

That sparks a long conversation between all of them about the real reason behind the sudden want to move. It makes Hongbin feel at ease, feel apart of the group, feel less lonely, even if it’s just for a moment. It makes him feel good inside, something as simple as just a conversation with old friends.

When he leaves that night, late into the night, his heart feels lighter, less of burden. It was nice to visit with friends, even if he does talk to them at least once a week. Seeing them in person is much different than talking through text. Even if he did tease Hakyeon for hugging him, he couldn’t deny, it was nice. 

When he gets home though, he is grateful. It had been a long day and he is just ready for some rest. As he turns the key to unlock the door, he is met with a surprising sight. The lights in the hallway and in the living room are both turned on, as well as the small fan he set up yesterday in the living room. The kitchen lights are on too, and Hongbin groans to himself. He must have left them on when he was in rush this morning trying not to be late. He’s forgetfulness will surely show in next electric bill. 

He quickly begins to turn off unnecessary lights, making a mental note to make sure they are all off tomorrow before he leaves. Once he is done, he goes to put the leftovers that Taekwoon had sent home with him into the fridge before heading off to bed. In a rush, he goes through his nightly routine so he can hurry into bed. Once he done with washing up, he changes and all but jumps into bed. It creaks with his weight. It’s soft but not overly so and Hongbin can’t imagine how the people before him just left it here.

He was curious, at first, why they left everything and moved so quickly. It didn’t make sense, economically, to do it. It helped Hongbin though, as he didn’t have so much to buy anymore. He shrugged to himself mentally and tried to close his eyes for some sleep. It didn’t matter anyways, why it had happened. It was already done.

There is small dripping noise coming from outside, and it should annoy Hongbin but it seems to lull him to sleep instead. The rhythmic pattern somehow calming in ways that it shouldn’t be and Hongbin can feel himself slipping into sleep but before he can, he’s pulled awake by a sudden bang.

It nearly gives him a heart attack, as he jolts out of bed as fast as he can. He’s unsure what to do, as the bang sounded like it came from somewhere in the house. It could be anything if that was the case. Like someone trying to break in.

Grabbing the closest thing near him, which happens to be an unplugged lamp and somewhere in Hongbin’s mind he knows that isn’t the best weapon but it’s all he’s got to work with.

He makes his way slowly down the hallway, trying to avoid making any noise that could alert someone of his presence. As he turns the corner, his heart drops to the floor. The kitchen light is on, along with the living room light. There is a faint buzzing coming from the living room, and Hongbin gets ready to storm it, lamp reared back in defense. 

He takes a breath to calm himself. He doesn’t know why didn’t call the police but he’s already down here and the mystery man is probably in the living room, just waiting for him. If he dies here, he probably wouldn’t be found for days, or weeks. He hopes that at least one of friends finds him, preferably alive. Maybe they’ll say something nice at his funeral. 

Taking a final deep breath, he turns the corner quickly, ready to swing only to find the room empty of anyone. The relief that he feels is short lived as he turns around to go into the kitchen. When he gets there, no one is there either. He rushes to turn on lights.

“Is anyone there?” Hongbin calls out, timidly. His voice isn’t as clear as it normally is, making him cringe. There is no answer. He is met with silence that lingers for a beat too long in the air, making him anxious. He frantically searches the house for any sign that someone is there because someone has to be there. The anticipation of finding someone is somehow worse than the actual fear of finding them. The front door is still locked tight and none of the windows have been smashed in.

He lets himself breathe easier now, figuring his mind is playing trick on him. There was probably a reason for the noise, like something falling off a shelf because it was unbalanced or-

Before he can even continue the thought, the bang sounds again. This time much closer. He jumps and ducks down below the counter, hiding himself from anyone that may be in the house. The noise sounds again, and again, almost in a rhythmic pattern like the dripping noise that he heard earlier. He doesn’t understand how it almost lulled him to sleep a few moments ago.

It stops suddenly and Hongbin opens his eyes that he had closed sometime during the noise. He’s curled up close to the counter, breath labored like he’s run a marathon. He wants to cry but he can’t. Not yet, at least. He steels himself for the unknown on the other side of the counter. Whoever it is, they know Hongbin is there, they wouldn’t have done that unless they knew. He stands up before he can change his mind, only to find, once again, nothing.

He walks out of the kitchen, slowly, in measured steps, to the dark hallway. There is no light on in the hallway, the switch being on the other side of it. There are two doorways in between him and the switch. The bathroom and the basement. More than likely, whoever is here is probably in the bathroom, hiding in the dark, waiting to attack. Hongbin doesn’t want to give that chance. Before he can change his mind, he walks down the unlit hallway, feeling the hallway wall and the basement door as guide and flicks on the bathroom lights. He lowers his lamp down once again, as he finds no one there.

He feels like he’s going crazy or maybe this is all some bad dream. He can’t be sure anymore and he doesn’t think he want to find out why this is happening. Sometimes it’s better to stay in the dark.

As he starts to leave the bathroom to search a little more, he hears it again, this time much more faint, like it’s in a distance, expect it isn’t. It’s nearby him, much closer than any other time before. He walks into the dark hallway, following the strange noise. He doesn’t have to go far, the noise next to him as he walks only a step into the hallway. His blood goes cold as he realizes where the knocking from.

The basement. Someone, something, is knocking on the door to the basement. The basement that is locked from the outside. 

Hongbin thinks he’s starting to understand why the previous owners left so quickly.


	2. An Encounter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know it's been a year but im dead inside so it feels like it's been a week so,, hope you enjoy, pls check the warnings

Hongbin can remember the first time that he met Sanghyuk. He was only in his second year of college and drowning in schoolwork already. There was no time for socializing, or parties or anything but studying if he wanted to get into medical school like his parents wanted. The library had slowly become his ideal place to study at deep into the night. The test that he had the next day was over almost half of the book and he couldn’t afford to get a bad grade on it. So when Hakyeon had asked him to go out with him and a few friends, he had politely declined, stating he was going to the library instead with a large cup of coffee in one hand and his book in the other. It would be a long night.

He was only half way through the first part of the review before his eyes start to droop and the words on the page started to blur. He fought to stay awake as much as he could, but there was only so much that he could do, his body craving more than four hours of sleep each night and the library do its best to lull him to sleep with quiet, white background noise. 

The coffee burnt his mouth when he chugged it, trying to wake himself back. Failing this test wasn’t an option, his parents would be beyond disappointed with him if he failed. He couldn’t fail.

A thud near him had pulled him out of his thoughts, scaring him and disrupting the quiet air that had settled around him in a comforting blanket. Glaring at the source of the noise, he was met with a boyish looking man who could be no older than Hongbin himself, hair dyed an outlandish blonde color that stood out among any crowd, sitting across from him. He seemed to have notice Hongbin’s annoyance as he muttered a small apology to him. Hongbin had only nodded before he stuck his nose back into the thick book in front of him. 

Time went by slowly then, Hongbin unreasonably aware of the other sitting close to him. Every little thing that Hongbin did, he was afraid that it was too weird or mechanical or something else that stuck out too much. He had slowly become self-conscious in front of a complete stranger. He thought about just moving away to a new desk or to the silent study area but the he thought about how the stranger might think of him if he just got up and left. He hated how he was always so worried what other people thought about him. Why couldn’t he just be normal for once?

The boy across from him clears his throat, startling Hongbin from his anxiety ridden thoughts. When he looks up to the too loud boy across from, he is looking at Hongbin with a sheepish look, looking at some of the textbooks strewn around Hongbin. Hongbin is ready for him to say something, he’s used to it by now, people asking why he is putting himself through this hell. What he doesn’t expect is a shy and quiet voice asking,”Are you in Ms. Kims Intro to Advanced Chemistry?” 

Hongbin doesn’t say anything for a moment, surprised for some reason at the question. He has never seen this kid in his class before and he’s sure he would remember that hair on someone. He can only nod dumbly, but that’s all it takes for the other to jump up from his seat and into the one right by Hongbin.

“Can you help me? I really don’t get this problem.” He asks, pointing at one of the questions on the sheet, a homework that Hongbin finished hours ago. It’s easy, for people who took any other chemistry class, but Hongbin has a feeling that this guy hasn’t even cracked open his book if this is what he is stuck on. Even so, he can’t help how his heart is telling him to help the guy, even if it does cut into his own study time. He could take a break from the endless medical text that he only understand half the time.

“Let me see it.” Hongbin takes the paper from his hands, pulling out his pencil and begins to explain it, step by step, trying to ignore the way his hands shake when he takes the paper from the boy. The other seems to taking in the information well enough, asking questions when Hongbin goes too fast, and repeating things to retain them. When they get finished with one problem, he seems to get it better so Hongbin gives him the paper, instructing him to do the next one by himself and he will check it. 

The other is working hard on the problem, asking questions only when he gets completely stuck. Hongbin tries to focus on his own work before the other’s voice interrupts his thought process all over again. “Are you okay?”

It takes a second for Hongbin to realize the other is talking to him. He quickly recovers from the awkward silence that had taken over them in the few short seconds since he had asked. “I’m fine.” He starts, putting his hands under the desk, knowing what the other is going to ask about. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“It’s just,” he begins, unsure of how to continue, “Your hands are shaking a lot. I just didn’t know if it was because of me. Sorry.”

“It’s not.” Hongbin says quickly, trying to get out of the situation as fast as he can. “Sometimes my hands shake, that’s all.” He hates this part, when people ask why he shakes so bad when meeting new people, why his voice is cracking, why he can’t hold a single conversation without flushing red. This is what he gets for helping someone out.

“I’m sorry.” The boy rushes to say before Hongbin can even say another word. “That was super rude of me, I don’t know why I said that. There’s nothing wrong with your hands shaking, that’s completely normal, I mean it’s not normal but it’s okay!” He groans and lays his head on the desk, much to Hongbin’s amusement. He is trying to keep from laughing at the other, because that would make him rude. Even so, Hongbin can’t help the small smile that creeps onto his face.

“Hey it’s alright-”

“Let’s start again!” The other interrupts loudly, a very proud smile gracing his features. He stands up, walking away a few feet and then back around to Hongbin. He holds his hand out to the other. “Hello, my name is Han Sanghyuk, I’m a freshman and it’s nice to meet you.”

Hongbin takes the hand, allowing Sanghyuk to shake it and continue to do so in a ridiculous fashion. He smiles, dimples and teeth showing. “I’m Lee Hongbin, a sophomore, and it’s very nice to meet you too Sanghyuk.”

Their hands continue to shake up and down when Sanghyuk says with a winning smile. “Now both of our hands are shaking.”

Hongbin can’t help the loud laugh that he would normally be embarrassed for but he can’t stop, Sanghyuk laughing with him. They get some dirty looks that are easily brushed off. When they finally quiet down due to an angry student telling them off, they can’t focus, making stupid joke after stupid joke that Hongbin would never normally find funny. When he leaves the library, he has Sanghyuk’s number inputted securely in his phone. 

He hadn’t even noticed when his hands stopped shaking. 

.

Before Hongbin can doubt himself, he runs back to his bedroom, grabbing his phone through shaking hands. He can’t even see straight, the words on his phone blurring into one indistinguishable light. Somehow, he makes it to his recent call list and clicks the first name that fingers can hit, holding the phone to his ear while the dial tone rings.

It’s on the third ring when he realizes the knocking is back. It’s coming in spurts now. Spurts of three, evenly spaced out, all in time with the rings on the phone. He can hear it screaming, high and shaky like it’s trying to get out. On the fourth ring, Hongbin removes the phone from his ear, to listen better. It’s not as intense as the last time, but it’s still fierce rasps on the door, terrifying in sound and squeezing at every part of Hongbin’s already weak heart. On the sixth, they abruptly stop on the second knock of the spurt. He can hear a tiny voice coming his from his phone, vaguely registering that it’s Taekwoon. He can’t bring himself to answer, despite the constant chatter of his name being called.

It’s the silence that brings him out of his trance and back into his reality. Bringing the phone to his ear, he can hear arguing, but he doesn’t know about what. 

“I’m here.” Hongbin says, voice shaking as he speaks. 

“Hongbin! Are you alright?” Taekwoon’s concerned voice asks, the sound of rustling clothes in the background. 

“Taekwoon? Can you come over?” Hongbin whispers, afraid of alerting the thing, even all these rooms away. “I think-” He starts again, only to be cut off by the loudest noise so far. It sounds like a door being slammed into drywall, and Hongbin blots up. 

He can only think of one thing. The basement door. Whatever was in there, isn’t there anymore. Walking quickly to the hallway, he prepares himself. He isn’t going down without a fight. Taekwoon is yelling at him through the phone that he’s on his way, Hakyeon too, telling him to calm down. He drops the phone, needing the extra hand if he’s going to take this thing down.

When he turns the corner to the hallway, he flicks the light on as quick as he can, illuminating it. The bathroom door is open and the light is still on, nothing has changed. 

What shocks Hongbin more than anything is the basement door. It remained unmoved and looked untouched, bolt still in place. He can’t decide if that’s terrifying or not. He feels dread deep in his chest, making it harder to breathe, to even move, he can’t even see straight with how terrified he feels. The air feels still, too quiet, too much anticipation is building in a way that Hongbin has never experienced. 

He feels his legs give out but he lets himself fall, supported only by the wall behind him that shakes when his back makes contact. There are black dots in is vision that he can’t get rid of, no matter how much he tries to blink them away, they move around, making him sick to even look at, they move in rapid movements that he can’t follow. He ends up just closing his eyes to get rid of them. 

Sitting there makes his legs go numb and it’s a welcome feeling, it can distract him from what feels like is impending death, the anxiety and fear mixing into one emotion that he can’t name and wants to vomit, the room is spinning so much. 

The knocking of the door startles him and he opens his eyes quickly, grabbing the lamp again and forcing his body up, eyes never leaving the basement door even as his head spins and fades in and out from standing up too quickly. There’s more knocking and Hongbin realizes it’s not from the basement anymore, but from the front door. He nearly sprints to the front door, eager to see someone, anyone. A robber could be on the other side and Hongbin would open his home up willingly to them if it meant he wasn’t alone.

It isn’t a robber though, it’s a worried Taekwoon and Hakyeon who both look like they ran here in their nightwear. He doesn’t think when he falls into Hakyeon, clinging to him with more strength than he really has. Hakyeon holds back just as tight and it helps Hongbin find his footing. He feels Taekwoon gently rub his back and he feels safe. At some point Hakyeon shuffles them into the house, out of the cold night air, never letting go of Hongbin.

“Hongbin, what happened? What’s wrong?” Hakyeon asks eventually, after Hongbin’s breathing has calmed down considerably. He pulls away, trying to be strong, even if it’s for a moment. It isn’t working and Hakyeon can tell by the way Hongbin’s mouth closes and opens, unable to find the right words. He tries to remember old breathing techniques that he learned when he was in therapy but none of them are working properly so he pushes through it anyways.

“T-the basement-” Hongbin is able to stutter out, the fear still present in his mind, coursing through his vein in fast, quick, pulses. 

“What about the basement?’ Taekwoon encourages him, eyes already wondering down the hall the basement is down. 

“K-knocking- on the o-other side- loud, door was s-slammed open-” Hongbin cuts himself off, his air supply running out on the small sentence that took too much effort. Even in this state, he doesn’t miss the look that Hakyeon and Taekwoon share with each other, both shocked and both on extreme alert. 

“Stay here-” Taekwoon starts and grabs the broken lamp that Hongbin had grabbed, only to be intercepted by Hakyeon who takes the lamp. “What are you doing?”

“You can’t even kill a spider, you expect to kill a man? You stay here with Hongbin.” Hakyeon says with urgency. Taekwoon looks mildly offended and shakes his head. “Taekwoon don’t fight me on this-”

“Let’s go together.” Taekwoon says, giving Hakyeon a weary look. Hakyeon, for a long second, too long for Hongbin, looks ready to protest before accepting. “Stay here Hongbin.”

It makes Hongbin’s skin itch, he wants to go with them, wants to be with them when they find what is on the other side, but at the same time, he doesn’t think that his heart can take anymore. Instead, he watches them creep slowly down the hallway, Taekwoon slightly in front of Hakyeon, before they reach the basement. The hallway light has been switched on and just like Hongbin left it, the bolt is still in place. He watches as Taekwoon takes a deep breath before a shaky hand reaches for the bolt to unlock it. 

Hongbin isn’t sure what he expects to be on the other side. He doesn’t know if he thought it would be a burly man who wished to kill him or some evil spirit come to drag him to hell. Either of those would have made sense. They would have given him closure, an explanation. The undeniable dread that he feels when Hakyeon and Taekwoon return from the basement after finding nothing does nothing for his racing heart. It doesn’t ease the concerned looks they throw at him when he breaks down all over again.

.

“I’m not crazy. I know what I heard.” Hongbin says over a cup of tea Hakyeon has made him. It’s oversteeped and it has too much sugar in it but it’s warm and it helps with his nerves so he can’t complain too much.

“No one said that you were Hongbin.” Taekwoon gently tells him and it reminds Hongbin of how Taekwoon talks to a child. He can’t blame him, he feels like one.

“You both are staring at me like… like you don’t believe me. I know what I heard. T-those knocks weren’t fake, I’m not crazy.” There’s conviction in his voice but none of it shows in his body language. He’s hunched over and blinks his red eyes rapid to get rid of the tears that for. He keeps saying the he isn’t crazy, but he isn’t sure he believes that anymore. 

“Hongbin....” Hakyeon starts, and Hongbin hates where this is going already. He doesn’t know where Hakyeon is going with this, but it’s never good. “You aren’t crazy. You just moved into a new house, a new life. It’s a lot of change all at once. It can’t be good for your mental health to change so quickly. I just think that maybe it would be a good idea to back to your therapist and talk to her. Maybe get back on your medications-”

“No.” Hongbin interrupts. “I’m not going back on those pills. They didn’t help.”

He can hear Taekwoon sigh and he knows why. They’ve had this conversation a million times before and they always end the same. “Hongbin… They did help. You know they did.”

“They made me feel like death, I couldn’t even function with them.” Hongbin scowls at them, not wanting to talk about this now, not when he on the edge of another breakdown. They both seem to understand.

“Fine Hongbin. Do what you want. We don’t care.” Hakyeon says, shaking his head in frustration. Hongbin wants to reassure them both that he’s been fine without them, that he will stay fine without them, but he doesn’t think he can reassure himself of that. 

“I don’t want this to be a fight Hakyeon… You know I hate fighting you on this kind of stuff.” Hongbin reasons. He can see the tense line in Hakyeon’s shoulders, the way that his jaw is set, how Hakyeon uncurls his hands over and over again. It’s always like this, a battle of who’s right and who’s wrong that always ends in Hongbin and Hakyeon not talking for days until Hakyeon relents and apologizes for telling Hongbin what to do. Normally, Hongbin feels bad for making Hakyeon angry like this, but he can’t bring himself to care today. 

“We aren’t fighting you on this Hongbin…” Taekwoon says for the both of them, surprised Hongbin a little bit. It’s rare for Taekwoon to jump in between these fights they have, usually opting to stay out of them until the end. “We’re just worried for you Hongbin. You were doing so well before you moved, we don’t want to see you go back and this sounds like you’re seeing Shi-“

“Don’t say his name. Don’t you dare say his name like you-like you can-“ Hongbin interrupts Taekwoon, frantic to stop him, unable to hear that dread name all over again. He’s afraid if he heard it, that person- no, that thing cannot be considered human, his therapist told him it wasn’t-, that thing would come back and stand next to him like no time had ever passed between them. He would feel that dampening presence in his mind, squashing down all hope and happiness he could ever feel. He made Hongbin feel alone and warm at the same time, always trying to pull him closer and closer to that endless void that could comfort him the way that no one else could. “This isn’t him. He isn’t like this, he wouldn’t play games like this, he-he’s not real- he wouldn’t do all of this just to scare me, he would make himself known, he doesn’t hide, he’s not a coward-“

He isn't sure when he started breathing too hard or when Hakyeon took ahold of his shaking hands or when he needed to gasp to catch his breath but it takes its toll on him nonetheless. There is a comforting hand rubbing smooth, slow circles on his back while he calms down and a gentle kiss placed on his head “Breath with me Hongbinnie.” And it’s all Hongbin needs to even out his ragged breath, even if it’s hard. He isn’t sure how long they sit there, how long he allows them to touch him and comfort him, but he knows it’s what he needs. 

“We believe you Hongbin, we do-“ Taekwoon starts but Hongbin shakes his head, knowing it isn’t true, knowing they think he’s crazy again, just like they did before.

“You don’t, don’t lie to me-“ Hongbin manages through gasps of air. He hears Taekwoon says something else but it all becomes nonsense to him as his ears feel like they are clogged up with cotton. He can’t do this with them anymore, not when they won’t believe him, not when they are giving him this look with sad eyes. “Just-just get out- I can’t do this right now-“

“Hongbin-“ Hakyeon starts again, but Hongbin throws himself out of Hakyeon’s loose embrace.

“I said leave. T-thanks for coming by but-I can’t do this.” Hongbin stutters, eyes finding the floor shamefully. He hears a sigh and then feet shuffling to the doorway. He almost looks up but stops himself when he hears the steps stop.

“Call us anytime Hongbin. You know you always can.” Hakyeon says from the doorway. Hongbin can’t help himself when he nods, knowing he will, even if they think he’s insane. He hears them walk to the door, only looking up when he hears the door click shut. The air feels too still and too cold for his liking but he doesn’t know what to do. He wants to cry but he has no energy to even do that. 

He knows that they only care but he can’t go back to those pills. Not when they make him feel like he wants to drive an icepick into his eye just to feel something again. So many psychiatrists told him they would help, told him that they would get rid of his problems with just two doses a day at 500 milligrams a pill. And they did work, they worked well. Hongbin hadn’t even seen the hallucinations-that’s what the therapists had called them, they had said they weren’t real, he knows they aren’t- after he took them for a few months. 

The numbness, the feelings of self-doubt and self-hatred, came later. They crept up, consuming his thoughts and his actions. He stopped seeing the hallucinations but he didn’t need them anymore, his own mind could come up with enough thoughts, he didn’t need something else to tell him to die when his own mind could do it just as well. 

When he went off of them, it felt like death all over again. He hadn’t told anymore, pouring them down the toilet, ignoring the voice that told him that it was a stupid idea. He couldn’t do it anymore, he couldn’t stand the feeling of hatred, the feeling of death lingering over him like a never ending rain cloud that poured rain over him until he was wet to his bones. He remembers his fragile, pale hands gripping the stark orange pill bottle as he watched the pills fall out of the bottle one by one before he dumped the next and the next. When he finished, he watched them swirl down the drain. 

In the back of his drug addled mind, it reminded him of when he was only 11 and his first fish had died. His mother had laughed at him for crying, calling him a baby and telling him he needed to grow up and be a man. He had run off to the bathroom, cradling the poor thing close to his chest in a cup. His mother had followed him, screaming something about respect but he locked the door before she could grab him, screaming something else about getting a key. Quickly, he dumped the fish into the toilet, sadly mourning his only friend in the whole household. With a sad prayer and a quick goodbye, he flushed the toilet, watching as his fish swirled down the drain and gone forever, it’s only evidence of life being the few photos Hongbin had taken and his memories. Sorrow, an emotion he hadn’t known then, filled his chest as the toilet filled back up and the door swung open, revealing his mother, who was filled with rage and anger that Hongbin couldn’t help but fear. 

The bruises from that time didn’t fade for days. 

Hongbin checks the doors over and over, straying away from the basement door, knowing that Taekwoon had locked it and he had no need to go near it again. It gave him chills just looking at it. When he lays down to sleep, it’s nearly dawn and he’s not going to work today, he can already tell that. He doubts he will be able to sleep.

He tosses and turns, over and over until finally, when the sun begins to come up slowly, illuminating his bedroom, sleep begins to find him. In the back of his mind, he hears soft tapping again but it’s faint, it sounds like his ceiling fan or a bird tapping on his window. 

With the sound and feeling of knocking deep, deep in his brain, he falls into a restless sleep.

.

“You look exhausted Hongbin? Have you been sleeping okay?” Hongbin hears one of his coworkers ask. He knows that it’s out of concern and she is just being nice but he wishes he could tell her to leave him alone so he can finish his work and go home. But he doesn’t know if it’ll be worth it. He doubts he’ll be able to sleep. 

Since that night, he remains on edge, waiting for the basement door to swing open and for some hideous monster to come out and to kill him in his sleep, plunging a knife into his chest and letting the blood seep into the pristine white sheets below him. But that never comes. Nothing ever happens but the threat, the idea of it, lingers in his mind, keeps his mind racing night after night. 

“I’m alright. Thank you for asking though.” Hongbin replies, smile fakely plastered on his face. He hates having people worry about him and especially people that he doesn’t care about. That’s a very short list and none of his coworkers have sadly made it. It seems to appease her because she smiles and tells him to take care himself which he says that he will. He means it but he doesn’t know how to follow through on something like that. He takes a deep breath before continuing with his mind numbing work, editing the photos of another happy couple. 

He wants to scratch out their faces and burn the photos. Instead, he just lightens them to expose the details on the dress better. He doesn’t get paid enough for this.

The walk home is more somber than normal. It’s late and the sun is already setting before he even gets his key in the door. Throwing his bag on the floor and toeing off his shoes, he heads to the kitchen to find something to eat. He settles on some leftover rice he has that will do and heats it up quickly. Once it’s finished, he heads to the living to eat it, checking his phone on the way there.

It’s all standard messages from his friends, asking him how he is, asking him to respond every now and then, and a few from Hakyeon that are asking to meet up but he doesn’t respond to them yet. There’s one sweet message from Sanghyuk, telling him that they need to meet up soon so that he can meet their new dog, that Hongbin predicted that he would get, and to game together soon. He also mentions that he maybe misses him and wants to talk to him soon. It warms Hongbin’s heart to know that the kid still cares about him, even if they haven’t talked in weeks.

He’s beyond tired, only sleeping a few hours a night before the anxiety creeps back up and takes him over. The last few nights, he’s be woken up by strange power outages that seem to only affect his block. They flicker his lights, scaring him from sleeping and keeping him from getting any good rest. It doesn’t help that the kids down the street always seem to be yelling and screaming at all hours of the day. He’s pretty sure he’s gotten three hours of sleep the past three days. He’s afraid that if he keep this up, he won’t be able to last much longer. At work, he thought he started seeing things. He needs sleep. 

He hopes to sleep well tonight, he isn’t working tomorrow and plans to sleep as long as he can without interruption. He quickly finishes the rice and heads to the shower. He quickly showers, nerves growing with every second that he has his eyes closed in such a vulnerable place. He finishes and dries off before he get too nervous and dresses for bed. 

As he lays in bed, he turns on his air diffuser next to his bed and waited for lavender to fill the room. He takes deep breaths of the air surround his bed, allowing for the scent to calm his beating heart and his racing nerves. His old therapist told this was a good way to naturally relax even though he thought it was a load of crap. At this point, he’s willing to try anything to calm down. Even if it’s just some lavender oils.

He hears his phone go off in the other room, but he can’t be bothered enough to go get it. It’s too much work. He’s sure it’s just Hakyeon asking again to come out for drinks and he has no plans of that. When the phone stops, he closes his eyes, trying to find sleep before it’s too late. He can feel his eyes growing heavy and his mind growing numb and a fleeting thought that this is finally the night that he can sleep. He waits, for the sleep to take over his mind, lets the numbness roll over his body until all he sees is black nothingness.

.

He watches, horrified by the scene before him. He should have called them back, he should have let them know that he cared. He didn’t want this to be the end. If he could just reach out, he could stop all of this, but he just needs to move his arms.

“Hakyeon-” Hongbin says, trying to get Hakyeon to look at him, to see him, but Hakyeon’s head lays low, unable to look at Hongbin and Hongbin isn’t sure that he’s even alive and he wants to throw up at the thought. “Hakyeon, please, stay with me, you can’t leave me-” Hongbin pleads, begging the other to keep breathing, to stay alive.

“Don’t bother.” A low voice whispers into Hongbin’s ear, sending shivers down his spine. It terrifies him and comforts him at the same time. It’s a strange mix of emotions that he doesn’t know how to deal with. “He’s done for. It’s your fault, you know that? He’s going to die and it’ll be his blood on your hands… Or maybe not… You don’t like blood, do you? It’s too messy, too much to clean up, you clean freak.”

Opening his mouth to speak, Hongbin finds himself unable to, Just like he is unable to look away from Hakyeon’s lifeless form. 

“What do you think will happen to that other one? What’s his name again?” The voice asks.

“Taekwoon.” Hongbin responds, surprised that he was able to find his voice when he couldn’t just moments ago. 

“Ah… Taekwoon… Such a nice name. Will you miss him too Hongbin? Will you miss Hakyeon?” Hongbin instantly nods, wanting this to be over. There is a heavy hand that gently caresses Hongbin’s hair. Strangely, Hongbin feels comforted “I know you will. But there’s no other way. It has to be like this. You know I don’t want to do this, right? I didn’t want it to be you… I tried to warn you…”

For some reason, Hongbin understands even though he doesn’t know why. He nods slowly as he watches the figure slink towards Hakyeon, lifting up his head gently by his cheeks. The figure holds his face for a second before slowly dropping his hands to Hakyeon’s neck and Hongbin wants to scream for him to stop but he can’t, he physically can’t stop him from doing this to Hakyeon even though he said it was okay. The fingers around Hakyeon’s long neck tightens and Hakyeon’s eye flicker open for a moment and Hongbin can see the life in his eyes, the small glimmer of hope when they make eye contact. Hongbin thinks, for a moment, that maybe Hakyeon will fight back, will be able to win but there’s none of that. 

As Hongbin watches the light leave, watches his best friend die in front of him, he thinks that he must be next but the figure stops and his fingers loosen. He looks around, seemingly looking at something that Hongbin can’t see. The thing smiles sadly, or as sadly as it can look, and looks at Hongbin. “I’m sorry Hongbin. It seems like this will have to wait. I’m sure you aren’t too sad about that.”

The figure approaches him, slowly creeping out on him, black following him and consuming the lifeless body of Hakyeon, stopping when he is in front of Hongbin. “When opportunities arise Hongbin, I will always take them. Never forget that.” The figure says, leaning in close Hongbin, the words whispered across his lips. He finds himself nodding, despite himself. 

The figure smiles and Hongbin closes his eyes, allowing the figure to do what he likes. He feels lips on his, warm and soft, making him feel warm on the inside and out. When the lips are gone, he hears a soft “I’m sorry Hongbin. Open your eyes-”

Hongbin’s eyes shoot open before he can help himself, finding himself in his bed. His heart is beating a little too quickly still and he is thrown into confusion. The lights above him are flickering again, flashing brightly into his eyes and tries to block it out but the lights are too bright to not be seen. He doesn’t know how these power outages keep happening but he can’t deal with them. 

Throwing his legs over the side of the bed, he falls to his knees, cursing the lights above him. He tightly closes his eyes and hopes that it ends soon, he can’t handle this anymore. It’s all too bright, it hurts his eyes for these lights to flicker and everything sounds too loud, he doesn’t know where the noise is coming from but it feel like it’s coming from his own head. He needs it to stop. 

He throw the blanket from this bed over his head and covers his ears with hands before yelling “Stop! Please, stop!” and it feels childish, he hasn’t done this in years, hasn’t done this since he was a child and he would hear his parents yelling downstairs, plates smashing and his mother screaming at his father and his father yelling right back. He thought if he yelled loud enough, he would be able to drown it all out. It never worked then, so he doesn’t know why it would work now. 

It feels like hours pass but it must be moments as his shaky hands slowly remove themselves from his ears. The noise, is gone, and is replaced with increasing silence and so he slowly opens his eyes and takes off the blanket. The lights have calmed down and he slowly looks around to check the place. He finds nothing out of place and slowly stands, his knees feeling weaker than anything else. 

As he walks, he feels lost. The lights don’t look real, nothing looks real. He slowly gropes the wall, trying to find his way out of the bedroom and anywhere else to regain his vision. He’s trying so hard to find his way but it’s a worthless effort since he falls every time he makes any gains forward. When he feels tile under his feet, he know that he’s made it to the kitchen and he lays on the cool floor on his stomach, allowing himself a moment. 

He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do. There is so much going through his mind, so much happening that he can’t put into words, he wouldn’t be able to call someone if he tried. He just needs to breath for a moment. 

Then, out of nowhere, there’s a faint touch on his leg and then his arm. It scares him, it’s too sudden, he can’t take it, he flinches away but the touch follows him. “Don’t touch me-” Hongbin think’s he says but it comes out a slurred mess. The touch continue and so Hongbin tries again “I said don’t-don’t touch me!” Hongbin kicks his legs to get the touch away.

“Hongbin, stop, don’t kick me-” Hongbin thinks he hears but he isn’t for sure, it’s blurry and that voice, that voice it familiar. He can place it but he can’t in the moment. It sounds deep. It sound like the figure in his dream. He was powerless in his dream but he’s not in real life. He’s not letting this figure ruin his real life too. 

On shaky legs, he stands, receiving help from the thing touching him, it has to be that thing from his nightmare. He pushes away from it, closer to one of the drawers with the knifes. He knows what he has to do. The drawer opens with a clang and he clumsily takes one of the knives from the drawer, before turning to face the figure. Just like he thought, it’s that man from his dream, the one that tried to kill Hakyeon. He can’t let him stay. He has to kill him, as much as he doesn’t want to. 

He lunges forward and is caught before he can plunge the knife into the man’s chest. His wrist is twisted but he won’t relent. “Hongbin! Stop!” the deep voice says and he wonders how this things could ever beg for mercy in moment like this. He doesn’t care, he refuses to stop, refuses to have a bleeding heart in a moment like this.

He’s shoved back but that doesn’t stop him. The figure looks shocked at the second attack and he isn’t expecting the knife to go deep into his stomach. It’s hard, Hongbin had never thought how hard it would be to kill something like this, how hard it is to take the knife back out and go back in. Thick, hot, blood covers his hand and he’s surprised at how human it feels, how much this thing can feel and look like a human. 

The figure falls and Hongbin falls with it. There’s a gurgling noise that disgusts Hongbin and he wants to throw up at it. But it’s done, he can’t visit him in his dreams now even though he can’t tell what’s a dream anymore. There’s a heaviness in eyes again and he feels sleep beginning to take over and so he allows himself to fall into the darkness, covered in a warm sticky blanket on the hard cold tile floor.

.

The ocean covers his cuts, covers his face in cold seawater that he chokes on before he can help himself. It’s hard to breath with all the salt in the air, he’s never gotten used to it. In the distance, he can see the sun setting in the distance, casting red and orange and pink across the ocean. 

He can hear the waves crashing against the shoreline and wonders what beach this is, where he is. He doesn’t think that it matters, it’s pretty nonetheless as he makes his way the shore. He hate the sea, he hates the water, but he loves the way the sun looks. As he makes it to the shoreline, he gasps for breath and crawls away from the sea. 

Stealing a glance back, the sun has set, but the ocean remains red. The red stains the white sandy beaches and Hongbin crawls back to sea, touching the water and is met with warm, thick water that he can’t touch without wanting to vomit. 

He hears a scream, in the distance, before frantically looking around to find whoever screamed, to help them, but is meet with no one. Standing on shaky legs, he goes to the treeline close to the shore. It’s hard to make it, but he does and is able to cling to one of the trees nearby. He steals a fleeting glance to the shoreline one more time.

On the shoreline, he sees blond hair and lanky limbs walking into the red ocean. He can’t help but sprint to the ocean, falling down into the sand every few feet. 

He’s too late. He’s always too late.

.

His back wakes him up. It’s screaming from laying on the hard kitchen floor. He can’t place why he’s laying here anymore. Blearily, he opens his eyes to take in his surroundings and he feels something wet around his arms and on his torso. Looking around, he sees someone lay near him, their arms laying in a strange position that looks unnatural. He leans forward to help him and pushes his arm back and pulls his hand back when he is met with something wet again. 

His blood goes cold when he realizes his hand comes back red and he knows what it is. He crawls forward to the other man, turning him over gingerly and slowly to reveal the face. He’s met with dead eyes and a vile smell that he’s never had to smell before. There’s blood covering his face but Hongbin knows who it is, would know him anywhere.

Cleaning his face with clammy, bloody hands that shake too much, he can see the face more clearly “No no no-” Hongbin can’t help but say, tears forming his eyes as he sees the face of his youngest friend under the blood. “Hyuk, please stay with me, please no, please Hyuk-”

“He’s gone.” A deep voice tells him from behind. Hongbin jumps, glaring at the voice, knowing it to be the one from his dream, the one that’s supposed to be dead. “It’s no use.”

For a moment, Hongbin doesn’t know what to do, what to say. He is sure this, isn’t real, this has to be fake, Hyuk can’t be gone. He is going to wake up and open his eyes and all of this will be over and gone just like it always is. Hongbin tries to close his eyes and open them back up, hoping none of this will be here when he opens them up. To his absolute horror, the blood on his hands never fades, the dead eyes staring back him never fill back up with life. 

“Who are you?” Hongbin grits out, clinging onto Sanghyuk as tight as he can, forgetting the blood and gore. 

“I go by many names…” The voice says, coming closer before he’s crouching next to Hongbin. Hongbin steals a glance at him. He isn’t faceless like he was in his dreams. He isn’t a scary as Hongbin believed. His sleepy eyes and small mouth form into a small frown and Hongbin doesn’t understand how he can dare be upset about this. “Most people know me as an angel of death, the one who collects souls to take them to the next plane… but I hate that.”

Fear instantly fills Hongbin to his core. He can’t sit by and let this monster take away Sanghyuk like he’s nothing, like he doesn’t matter. 

“You can’t take Hyuk! Please! Take me instead!” Hongbin pleads with him, trying to make him hear reason, Hongbin wanting to go instead. He can’t let Sanghyuk die, not when he has so much to live for. He’s so young and Jaehwan will be destroyed. He can’t let this happen.

“It doesn’t work like that. If you hadn’t killed him, I might have been able to work with you…” The figure says and Hongbin’s heart drops. This can’t be right, he didn’t kill his best friend, there was no way. 

“You’re lying.” Hongbin says, gritting his teeth. 

“I wish I was Hongbin… I wish your friend’s last memory wasn’t his best friend stabbing him over and over and over-” 

“Stop-” Hongbin tries, but the voice continues. He tries to block the voice, holding his hands to his ears, trying to keep the voice from getting into his head. 

“It’s so sad for him. He had so much to live for-”

“I said stop, I don’t want to hear it-”

“You have to hear it.” The voice says close to ear and causing shivers to run down his back. “You can’t take it back Hongbin. You killed him.” Hongbin wants him to stop talking because the tears are forming in his eyes and he can’t handle the truth. “I know it’s hard Hongbin, I know it’s so hard to hear but I’m here now… I can help you.”

The tears in Hongbin’s eye’s fall freely as Hongbin says desperately, “H-how?”

A hand gently wipes away the tears from Hongbin’s checks and Hongbin watches with strange fascination as the hand comes back red and he vaguely realizes that the blood is Sanghyuk’s blood. He’s covered in his best friend blood. “I just need you to listen to me. Fully and only me. Can you do that for me Hongbin?”

Hongbin knows that he’s going crazy. He prays that this some sick dream that he is going to wake up from any moment, but for now, he needs to play into the game. He needs to stay ahead and shakes his head.

“Good boy.” Hongbin doesn’t know why he shudders when the man says that and he leans into the touch. “You can call me Ravi, Hongbin. Please, call me Ravi.”

He nods, tears drying up and he listens to Ravi tell him to clean up the body and to take it upstairs, to the unused home, and then cleaning up the blood.

The process is grueling. Hongbin can’t help but dry heave at the way that Sanghyuk’s body moves without protest. At the way that his blood stains the tiles of the kitchen. At the way that even dead, Sanghyuk still looks the same in some strange way. He’s just covered in blood.

It’s awful and gross but Ravi helps him through it, telling him how good he is doing, how well he did. 

“You did so well Hongbin... “ Ravi says as Hongbin lowers himself into a hot bath that instantly goes red when he submerges himself. Hongbin can’t see Ravi anymore, only hear his voice. It goes quiet in the bathroom and before Hongbin can think about what he’s done, his eyes begin to close on their own accord and darkness takes over.

He dreams of cold seawater. He dreams that it cleans him of all of the blood that stains his hands and clothes. He dreams of forgiveness he doesn’t deserve, of forgiveness he will never get.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so much shit has happened this past week and idk when imma post the next chapter cause i'm honestly really drained from all that's been going on,,,, so yea

**Author's Note:**

> Yay i did the first part! only four more to go! i love dying! comment are always loved!!! thank u for reading!!


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